Tuesday, January 24, 2012

How to talk to little girls

I came across this article recently. How to Talk to Girls

Here is a couple of quotes I especially liked.

Teaching girls that their appearance is the first thing you notice tells them that looks are more important than anything. It sets them up for dieting at age 5 and foundation at age 11 and boob jobs at 17 and Botox at 23. As our cultural imperative for girls to be hot 24/7 has become the new normal, American women have become increasingly unhappy. What's missing? A life of meaning, a life of ideas and reading books and being valued for our thoughts and accomplishments.

Try this the next time you meet a little girl. She may be surprised and unsure at first, because few ask her about her mind, but be patient and stick with it. Ask her what she's reading. What does she like and dislike, and why? There are no wrong answers. You're just generating an intelligent conversation that respects her brain. For older girls, ask her about current events issues: pollution, wars, school budgets slashed. What bothers her out there in the world? How would she fix it if she had a magic wand? You may get some intriguing answers. Tell her about your ideas and accomplishments and your favorite books. Model for her what a thinking woman says and does.


I agree with Lisa Bloom. I know it seems strange that I work in the fitness industry and like to be coiffed up myself. Somewhat of a contradiction, right? Wrong. I don't think it is one or the other.  As we walked out the door the other day, Kara realized something and shouted "Wait!  We have to do my hair!"  I had to smile and feel a little bit of happy.  While presentation is not everything, it does influence how you feel, act and carry yourself.  If you think you look like a schlepp, then you may act like one too.  (btw, I had to look up schlepp.  It means ineffectual person)  We get dressed up for church for many reasons, but I believe one of them is to remind us to act with reverence.  We don't have to wear our "Sunday best" all of the time, but in my mind getting dressed and putting myself together is one of my "Dailies."

I want my little girl to have opinions on books, talents and hobbies that she's worked hard to develop and to be willing to talk about them.  I've been re-training my brain to think this way as I talk to her and other kids (boys too).  It's slow going.  So far, my brain is wired to ask favorite color for a shy one.  Probably a good ice breaker but I know there is more to their personality than just the color question.

Bottom line, appearance matters but brains are what really count.  Pun intended.

1 comment:

Karen S. said...

When we go visit certain family members they always compliment charlotte over and over again by telling her "you are so pretty". While I don't disagree that isn't a nice thing to hear, it shouldn't be the only thing. Years later, I now say "and she is smart too" (or sweet, or a great sister, etc).
Thanks for the thoughts!